I am going through hardtimes this days, I am having sleepless nights filled with Pains, Depressions and Prejudice..If its wrong to tell what's right, what m i suppose to do , all i want to do is speck my mind.Few question are striking my mind time and again...such as
Q.Am I that RUDE?
Q.If So Were did i go WRONG? etc...
Today I am really unable to judge WHO actually went "WRONG" 'they or me!!!
we met together walked the moments of joy and sorrow holding eachother, that wasn't Coinsidence neither by chance nor by luck, it was FATE and DESTINY, which i belive so hard... Now that the time has moved us apart, those controversies, misunderstanding and communication gap and other factor have effected the perfect destiny..
Those days were good BUT now it feels like it was just a nightmare, things have simply contradicted, life has wronged me in terms of friendship, suitation had compled me to think so, infact the very word" CLOSED DOOR " really haunted me and is the reason why they all considere me as "PROVOKING FACTOR". Reminding me of my deeds with full of exgaration is all they got to do with me now.
As i am writing this article, i dont know why but its true that my eye's are filled with tear's and heart knotted,
"LOSER, SWAGGER FRIEND, SLAPPING OVER HER DIRTY FACE, RUDE, SHIT, MOOD LIKE WEATHER, IMPERFECT PERSON etc...were the the word they wrote about me.. Within just two semester people did made an effort to judge me whicH i kinda find it WEIRED. Some offender even landed up remainding me of my deeds without realizing that i too know her deeds as well. THANK YOU is all i can say to that someone though.
Now i am not able to judge myself as per their judgement for they have overextimated my feelings.
However with the end of this year(2010) i too want to end these controversies... i dont wana do this anymore. Recently my dad bought me one book by Dale Carnegle about "HOW TO STOP WORRYING AND START LIVING" which perhaps resulted in changeing my attitude..In that book there was a content about "FINDING ONSELF", it goes like ...Find Yourself And Be Yourself ; Remember There Is No One Else On Earth Like You... Even late Douglas Malloch in his poem said it;
If you can't be a pine on the top of the hill,
Be a scrub in the vally --but be
The best little scrub by the side of the rill'
Be the bush, if you can't be the tree.
If you can't be a bush, be a bit of the grass
And some highway happier make;
If you can't be a muskie, then just be a bass--
But the liveliest bass in the lake!
We can't all be captains, we've got to be crew,
There's something for all of us here.
There's a big work to do and there's lesser to do
And the task we must do is near.
If you can't be highway, then just be a trial,
If you can't be the sun, be the star;
It isn't by the size that you win or ypu fail--
Be the best of whatever you are!
LETS NOT IMITATE OTHER'S, LETS FIND OURSELVES AND BE OURSELVES!!!
Thus from the very day after i read the article i felt kind of relived. i simply want to bade farewell to those bitter memoirs and don't want to turn back for my feeling have been hurt, Compromise can always happen but my dear friends are so far, i can't reach to make an apology as well for things are all messed up... Sometimes i hate to say those above words but still have to for what my INNERSELF expresses by being MYSELF from here..
Somebody have truely quoted "lets never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourself far more then we hurt them, the best solution is; lets never waste a minute thinking about ppl we don't like/vice-versa"
ALL I WANT IS FREEDOM... I SIMPLY WANA BE BY MYSELF. NOW I JUST GOT TO CHERISH MY PRESENT.
